Our candlelight vigil for work is this Saturday.  I typically give the “opening remarks.”   Typically I say something about hope, etc.  However, this year I’m giving the closing remarks.  Our “token of honor” or gift to the families that attend are Seeds of Happiness. I just wanted you to see my closing remarks that I am going to read at our vigil.  As I know you know, I will never forget Dawson and always think of you!!

“I’m sure some of you are wondering about the two, bright red, small, balls you have received from us today.  Some of you might know of them, some might not.  The bright red balls are actually lumps of clay known as “Seeds of Happiness.”  Created by a local sculptor in St. Louis, their main purpose is to help put a smile on the face of anyone who needs it.

In June of this year KSDK ran a local “Feel Good” story.  While watching it, I discovered it was about a friend of mine.  In 2007 Paula and John Ivanowski, lost their young son, Dawson, to a battle with cancer.  These “Seeds of Happiness” were created by a local sculptor to help Paula and John put the smile back on their face after Dawson’s death.  While Paula and John’s son battled with cancer, their friend, the sculptor, didn’t know what to say to them during this difficult time so he did what he knows best…he sculpted clay.  It was that small act of kindness that started “Seeds of Happiness.”  He told them: "I know there is nothing I can say or do to make you feel better so I thought I would bring you some smiles to help you get your smile back.”

While the manner Paula and John lost their son is different than the reason we all gather today, the pain and grief we all share is similar… we grieve for a life that is forever changed or a life that is forever lost.  We wake up every morning wondering how we will continue through this day and the next.  We work hard on creating our new sense of normal in our lives, always wanting or yearning for our old normal back, even if it’s just for brief minutes.

As you can see we gave you two “Seeds of Happiness.”  One of the seeds is a gift we are giving to you, to give you a smile when you may need it.   The other seed we are giving to you is for you to give it to someone that you know who could use a smile. 

We many never know the impact that our tiny seed has on someone’s life, but together we can help others along their path of grief.  Please go and spread “Seeds of Happiness” in the world.

After we hear one final song from the Worship Team everyone is invited next door to the church cafe for a small reception.  From myself as well as all of our very dedicated volunteers and staff at the Gateway office, thank you for joining us today as we honor victims and survivors.”

"Hello!

A few years back we had the fortune of finding a seed at Apple Annie’s in Arizona and so my mom picked up one for my grandma and one for me. Fast forward a few years later and my grandma STILL to this day carries her seed in her pocket with her cherry chapstick. The few times she thought she lost it we had to continuously search and search until found, sometimes in the crack of the seat of the truck.

We tried looking for seeds online for backups, but unfortunately couldn’t find anything online awhile back. Even though we went every year to pick apples and veggies, Apple Annie’s no longer had them at the Apple orchard.

In July 2020 during the middle of the darn pandemic my grandma was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. So we’ve been trying to spend as much time with her as possible and doing things that she can do before it gets too hard.

In the later part of 2020 we stop at Apple Annie’s for our yearly apples, veggies and pumpkins and for the first year ever to get some pie at the country store by the highway on the way out. I couldn’t believe it but they had a stand full of seeds and so I bought about $40 worth and brought them over to my grandma when eating pie. She was so happy that she didn’t even know what to say, it honestly meant the absolute world because it could keep her mind off the pain and sadness for a minute.

So then she would carry them around with her to each appointment she went to and would give them out to her favorites. Then she started chemo just for palliative care since her cancer is terminal and gave one out to this lady she really enjoyed spending the day with and then some throughout the family to help them stay happy in this time of sadness. We also help Arizona Oncology with chemo hats that my mom and I sew together to make sure anyone that needs one can get one for free.

I just want to let you know that my grandma will always be remembered with a seed in her pocket and being so joyed to pass them out to the rest of the world.

Unfortunately her time is limited here and so I plan on getting some for seeds for her to continue giving doctors and friends she meets at Arizona Oncology."

Thank you for listening,

Alexandria